I haven't...

2005-08-31 - 11:09 p.m.

I haven’t written. I haven’t written about my birthday. I haven’t written about the Renaissance Festival. I haven’t written about my mother’s new little family. I haven’t written about Josh’s possible move. I haven’t written about the disappointment with the Myke thing. I haven’t written about running into Mark. I haven’t written about the various games. I haven’t written… about a lot.

I’m sick of hearing whining. I’m sick of listening to every one whine. I’m sick of hearing it come out of my own mouth. I’m sick of trying so hard and getting nowhere. I’m sick of not having the determination to follow through.

Generally speaking I’m fed up, frustrated, and angry at the world.

I also have the flu.

All that said I’m not going to whine about it any more. I’m going to try to put it all behind me and deal with what needs dealt with.

I’m supposed to be putting my life together and figuring out where I need to go. Problem is I really have no idea where to start. It does feel a bit overwhelming when the living situation is up in the air.

I haven’t followed through on my workouts. I haven’t done the little homework assignments my therapist has give me. I haven’t kept up with my plan to eat right. I haven’t managed to keep up with my housework. I haven’t managed to spend much time with friends. I haven’t been keeping my charts about my mood swings and sleep patterns.

As much as I want to make things better, I just cannot seem to keep up. I know I have no one to blame but myself. I just wish I could figure out why I don’t get things accomplished.

I haven’t done a lot of things, but I’m going to keep trying.